Chapter 9: A Repentant Point of View

First Part Written by Late Knight Simmer

I gasp loudly, put my hand over my mouth and start walking backwards until my legs touch the armchair that's directly behind me. I fall gently into the chair and remain there, unmoving.

"Scarlett? Are you okay?"

Neal crouches next to the chair and tries to comfort me, but all I can do is stare at... Daniel? I never thought I would see him again because I thought he had died. However, what appears to have happened to him is much worse. I don't know how I feel about this, about Neal, I've never been good with feelings, and I don't know how to deal with all the feelings that seem to have exploded in my face at this moment.

"Neal, that's Daniel... that's my boyfriend from before the Sections. I- I thought he was dead."

Neal turns around and looks at Daniel, who still has a wild look in his eyes, even though he has significantly calmed down. Neal sits down on the couch and tries to talk to him.

"Um... is your name Daniel?"

"I- I don't know. I- I don't reme- remember."

"What happened to you?"

"Ca- captured... beaten... forced to eat... fo- forced to eat bad things..."

Daniel looks away, like he doesn't want to say what he was forced to eat. Neal tries to get him to finish his sentence, but Daniel has become quiet again. I start crying when I hear that he was captured and beaten. I swing my legs up on the arm of the chair and bury my face in my hands. I'm trying not to cry loudly because I don't want to startle Daniel again and have him attack us. I have a feeling he's still fairly unstable.

"Do you want to talk, Scarlett? This must be pretty nerve-wracking for you right now."

Neal's sexy voice feels closer to me than it was before, and I hear him say my name. He wants to talk? Crap. I don't even know how to process any of this, I may even be jumping the gun thinking that is Daniel, how am I supposed to convey any of this to Neal? Why the fuck am I so damaged... Nevertheless, I nod, and we go back into the bedroom. I'm glad that Neal chose the bedroom to talk, even though I know it just made the most sense since the other choice was a bathroom... I decide to take advantage of the fact that we're in a bedroom. Maybe if I can distract Neal with sex, he'll forget about talking. I'm still fairly distraught, so I pull Neal close to me and lay my head on his chest. I feel him hug me back, squeezing my waist, while his right hand rests on my butt.

"Scarlett? What are you feeling? Talk to me. I want to help."

I hear Neal's deep, smooth voice resonating in his chest, and I love the way it sounds. With my head on his chest, his voice sounds especially sexy. I look up at him and stare at the length of his jawline before my eyes settle on his lips. I move my face close to his, and start sucking on his bottom lip. He kisses me back and I throw my arms around his neck, while my tongue enters his mouth and he starts breathing heavily. I am so happy my plan is working so far.

"Scarlett..."

Neal says my name again, in between kisses, and I can't decide why he said it, if he wants to stop making out so we can talk, or if he wants to take our make out session further. I know I want to take this further, so I take Neal's jacket and shirt off and trace his abdominal muscles with my finger. He's so hot and I want him badly. He's a really good distraction. Neal and I continue kissing and touching each other, until suddenly he withdraws his tongue from my mouth and looks at me.

"Scarlett, I know what you're doing."

"Of course you do, sexy, I'm making out with you, you handsome devil."

Dammit... he's on to me... I don't want to let him know that he got it right, so I put one hand in his hair, his silky brown hair that hangs perfectly in front of his face and makes me want to do nothing else but run my fingers through it all the time. I kiss his cheek softly, up and down, left and right, making sure to be gentle and not touch the wound on it. I love the way his stubble feels against my face. Neal closes his eyes and he breathes softly as I gently massage his head. He starts rubbing my back, and I squeeze his shoulder.

Neal picks me up around my waist and I hang onto him. I giggle as he hugs me tighter and walks us over to the bed. He deposits me on the bed and sits down. I lay on the bed on my stomach and unbutton his pants, putting my head close to his zipper. Before I can unzip his pants, I feel his hand in my hair, massaging my head, just like I was doing to him earlier. Just as I'm about to open his pants, he stops me.

"Scarlett, you can't bury your feelings with sex. I'm worried about you, you were clearly traumatized out there, and what you told me wasn't just a fleeting statement."

Dammit, Neal, you're too smart. I stop trying to undress him, but keep my face buried in his groin. I mumble something to him, most likely inaudible...

"What did you say, Scarlett?"

"I said I'm afraid you think I'm weak."

I sit up on the bed, sad and annoyed that Neal figured me out so quickly and was so eager to stop our little make out session that was going to lead to so much more. I look at him sadly, and he pulls me towards him, placing his hand on my stomach.

"I don't think you're weak at all, Scarlett."

"Really? Even though I cried?"

"Yeah, even though you cried. It just means you're human. Don't ever take that for granted, especially not in this world. Our emotions separate us from those people who are just out here killing everyone for pleasure. Now are you going to talk to me already?"

I wriggle out of Neal's arms and sit facing him. so I can look into his pretty blue eyes for some comfort.

"When the world was normal, Daniel was my boyfriend. A little while after, the section broadcasts started airing, and the world started going nuts. One day some Surveillance Guards took him and his family away, I'm assuming to put them in the Sections. I never saw him again, so I guessed he had died out there. That day, a small part of me died, the part that believed in love. I started having trust issues and decided the only person that was going to take care of me was me. I began studying about nature, like the different types of foliage, berries, soil, just in case I ever ended up in the Sections. I also practiced kickboxing and other forms of martial arts so I could survive alone. I became quite paranoid, and uncaring. Then my nightmare came true, and I woke up in the Sections."

"I'm sorry, Scarlett, that you feel like that. You don't have to be alone now. You and I can still be a team, and I don't think you're weak at all. I promise."

Neal puts his arms around my neck, leans his face close to mine, and my mouth naturally opens to give his tongue access. I put my hand on his shoulder, and slowly rub his chest while kissing him back passionately.

I feel Neal's hand fiddling with the zipper of my corset top, tossing it aside, and pulling me on top of him. He does this all without our lips ever breaking contact. I need some air, so I stop kissing him to ask a question because I am concerned.

"Neal, does your face hurt?"

"A little, but you're a nice distraction."

I kiss his neck and shoulder, making my way down his chest and abs.

Neal's pants are halfway unzipped from earlier, when I tried to get him naked. I finish opening them and pull his underwear down with his pants. Neal is happy to see me, and I do what I was going to do to him earlier. 

Neal groans with pleasure, I crawl back up to him and continue making out with him. He spreads my legs after he strips my pants off and pushes himself inside me, peppering my neck and chest with kisses in between thrusts. After we're done, we snuggle close in each other's arms.

"Promise me something, Scarlett? Don't leave me like you did last time."

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Second Part Written by MrsOogie Boogie

After a much needed bath in the soothing pond, Aubrey searched through the pile of things Jude had brought with him from the cannibal's safe house, surprised when she had found the clothes she had arrived in the Sections with that They had changed her out of.. An overwhelming joy rushed over her when she was able to put on her shoes, something she had been without for days now and she hated walking everywhere without the protection of her thick soled boots. Slowly, Aubrey began to feel normal again, content with where she was staying, though occasionally she still had her doubts about the new group, debating on running off on her own to continue her search for Scarlett.. But, the truth always came back to her.. Her heart was in the right place, though her body would never allow her to continue on her search if she were to do it alone.. Even she was smart enough to know she wouldn't last long.

Her gaze went up from the land and looked towards a small opening within the trees, Aubrey's eyes lighting up a little as she looked at the mountain she knew was about a day's walk away. Aubrey let out a gentle sigh as she stared at where the mountain top met the sky, wondering what it would be like to be there at that very moment just to look out upon the land. But, at the same time, she wished despirately that she was just never here in the first place.. I just want to be anywhere but here.. I want to be with Scarlett again, back at home.. Where it's safe and we don't have to live in fear for the rest of our lives.. She thought to herself. 

Aubrey decided to head inside, the sun was beginning to set and she didn't like being out in the dark, reminded of when she had been found by Billy.. It brought back bad memories that she fiercely wished she could forget. Walking inside of the house without knocking first bothered Aubrey just slightly, still feeling as if she didn't belong with them when she noticed only half of the room bother to notice her presence when she had walked in.. Jude sat next to Beatrice, chatting quietly among themselves which made Aubrey wonder if they were together, feeling a little more uncomfortable now as her eyes watched Jude longer than they should. 

"Aubrey, hello!" Janet called out, Aubrey shaken from her trance and she smirked softly towards her.

"Hello.." Aubrey replied, seeing Roman taking a seat near Janet, smiling and waving towards Aubrey when he had sat down and she smiled in return.

"Why don't you come over here and join us?" Janet offered, yet Aubrey wasn't feeling up to being forced to make idle conversation with them, let alone share anything about herself.. It seemed that she was reminded too much of the last house she was at, not wanting to sit around the fire and chat like she had done before with Billy, Preston and Abby.. 

"Oh.. Um.. If it's alright, I was just going to rest upstairs.. I'm not feeling up for much today," she replied, seeing Janet and Roman's smiles disappearing and finally, Jude had taken his eyes off of Beatrice to glance in Aubrey's direction, yet she didn't notice as her eyes didn't want to meet anyone else's anymore.

"Sure, dear.. Go right ahead," Janet answered, Aubrey then nodding in thanks and going upstairs to the room she assumed was given to her to stay in. 

Aubrey stood by the window in her room, staring out of it towards the setting sun behind a thin layer of clouds that cast a somewhat foggy and grim effect. Standing there with nothing to do and no desire to, her mind began to wander and reminisce about home and how beautiful the sunsets were, the skies always seemed to have only two versions of itself; the days where the sky was stunningly clear and bright or days when the whitest clouds rolled and tumbled, resembling enormous cotton candy mountains. Aubrey sighed, no longer wanting to look outside and she walked over to her bed, lying down and shutting her eyes in hopes of dreaming about home.

Aubrey could sense light behind her eyelids, a small hand on her shoulder and delicately shaking her awake. A quiet voice spoke, helping her wake up a little more, "Hey.." A little blonde boy with the greenest eyes she had ever seen stood next to her bed, smiling softly as he waited for her to sit up before continuing. "I brought you some bread with jam I made from the berries I gathered today while I was out.. It's a little bitter, but it still kinda tastes good," he said, still holding his smile.

Aubrey looked to the jam smeared piece of bread, able to smell the sour yet sweet scent it gave off, "Thank you.." Aubrey replied, smiling softly in return.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" He wondered, not waiting for Aubrey to answer as he excitedly went to the foot of the bed and crawled on top. Aubrey chuckled quietly as she watched the adventurous boy join her on the bed, turning towards him and getting comfortable as well.

"So what's your name? I'm Russell," he introduced himself.

As Aubrey looked into Russell's eyes, she remembered back on the night she was saved, groggy and dazed, yet she remembered his big green eyes behind the mask he wore. Now, she not only had Jude to thank, but Russell as well, "I'm Aubrey. It was you and your big brother that helped me, wasn't it?" She questioned softly.

"Yeah! Jude and I were out hunting and stuff and we heard yelling, so we went to investigate and we found you in the basement all beat up. Oh! Are you doing better? It seems like it," he added excitedly and Aubrey was warmed by the concern of the little boy.

"Yeah.. I'm much better.. Thank you for your help.." She replied.

"You're welcome, though it was mostly my brother.. I'm glad you're awake now and your wounds have closed.. Now I have another person to play with," Russell said happily and Aubrey chuckled quietly again at the boys behavior.

"When did you arrive within the Sections? How long have you been traveling?" Russell asked and Aubrey tried to think..

"Well.. According to Janet, I slept for four days.. I was only at the house you saved me from for I think two days, so a little less than a week.." Aubrey admitted, feeling a little ashamed now that she heard her own words out loud.. I'm off to such a terrible start.. She thought to herself.

"Wow! You pretty much just got here! So you used to live outside of the Sections? What's it like?!" Russell asked excitedly, Aubrey surprised by his reaction.. What does he mean 'what is it like'? Had he.. Had he never lived outside of the walls?

"It's.. A lot better than here.." She replied hesitantly, "Russell.. How long have you lived here?" Aubrey asked, still intrigued by his words.

"All my life! I was born here. Well, not here here, but within the Sections," he replied and Aubrey didn't know what to say, "We found this place abandoned and decided to stay for a little while, we've only been here a few months. It's important to remember though that you need to keep moving, we won't stay here much longer, maybe another month," Russell continued and Aubrey listened to the short teachings the boy gave. Even if he's only ten, he's lived here on this land the whole time, his life has only been about trying to stay alive.. I could even learn a thing or two from him, whenever I decide it's time to continue the search for my sister..

"Oh.. I see.. How long have all of you been together?" Aubrey wondered.

"We met Roman first, about five years ago.. And we ran into Janet and Beatrice only a year ago. You came alone, right?" He asked.

Aubrey's expression went softer, losing any smile or smirk she held with no hope of it returning, "Yeah, I'm alone.. I think so, at least.. I have a sister, but I'm not even sure if she's still back at home or if she's here but in a different section.." Aubrey replied, Russell's expression growing sorrowful and he began to feel bad for Aubrey.

Aubrey thought for a moment, the thought of her time spent here already and also with Scarlett rushing to her mind, she began to break down from the weight of it all. She pulled her knees close to her chest, bringing her hands over her face to hide her grief from the lively child.. "W-What if I never find her..? What.. What if I never see her again?" She asked out loud quietly.

"Hey! Noo, don't cry! It'll be okay! I'm sure she's okay!" Russell sprung to his knees and came closer to Aubrey, trying to calm her down the best any ten year old was able to. "I didn't mean to make you cry! Please, don't tell my brother I made you cry, he'd kill me!" Russell spoke figuratively.

"N-No.. You didn't make me cry.. I'm just so lost, I have no idea what to do or where to even begin looking or even how to survive out there.. I'm hopeless.." Aubrey replied quietly. No tears threatened to fill her eyes yet, though the pain she felt in her core and the knot in her stomach made her feel worse.

Aubrey could feel Russell moving around on the bed and he positioned himself next to her, placing his hand upon her back in a comforting manner, "It'll be okay, Aubrey.. You can stick with us and we'll help you find her," he consoled, though Aubrey still wasn't entirely convinced.

"No.. I can't ask you and your group to do that, I'll only slow everyone down.." Aubrey continued, feeling Russell's hair on her shoulder and he rested his head against her.

"Everyone feels lost sometimes, it's okay to feel weak every now and then and it's okay to ask for help when you need it, especially when people are happy to do it for you," Russell continued to try and make her feel better, Aubrey then lifting her head from her arm and looking over towards him.

"There's no point in thinking like that when you live in a place like this, there's no time to. You just need to learn to be stronger and adapt so you can do what you want, like finding your sister," he added, smiling towards Aubrey and she sat there, slightly amazed at how someone at the young age of ten could be stronger than the eighteen year old. "To be honest.. Jude and I are looking for someone, too.. Now, we can look together," he finished, keeping his smile towards her and she grew curious as she looked to the young boy.

"Really..? Who are you looking for..?" She asked.

"Russ," a deep, slightly angered voice came from the open door, Aubrey and Russell stopping the conversation and they both stared wide eyed at Jude standing in the doorway, "Bedtime.." He demanded and Russell frowned.

"It's still early! I don't want to go to bed yet!" He contested as he remained next to Aubrey. "Can't I just stay up for a little lon-"

"Now." Jude cut him off, his tone filled with more emphasis and even Aubrey flinched slightly from hearing it. 

Russell let out a groan in anger and hopped off of Aubrey's bed, "Night, Aubrey," he said with a defeated tone, Aubrey watching as he walked to the door and up to his older, seemingly strict brother, "You're such a jerk, I was just talking," Russell whined towards Jude.

"Go to the bedroom, I want to talk to you," Jude replied, the boy not saying anything in return and doing as his brother told. Aubrey sat there in silence, her stomach tying in knots of another manner when Jude had looked to her and reached for her doorknob, "Get some rest.. We'll see just how useful you are tomorrow," Jude said with a bland tone, breaking eye contact with Aubrey and shutting her door behind him.

'..We'll see how useful you are tomorrow..' Jude's words repeated in her head as she leaned her back against the wall and frame of the bed, letting out a long sigh as she sat there, lost in thought once more. What are we doing tomorrow? I can't find Scarlett alone, I can't do this by myself.. I need to prove to them tomorrow that I am useful. I need to be able to stick around, just a little longer, just so I can learn the basics about surviving here.. I don't want to be a burden for them, I don't feel like part of their group and I don't think I ever will.. I just need to stay useful for a few days so I can learn all I can.. I need to focus on finding Scarlett and keeping her my first priority. I'll try my hardest to convince them to let me stay for just a week, then I'll be off on my own and I won't be a bother to them anymore. I'll be one less mouth to feed.. One less thing for them to worry about when they have a child to watch over which is much more important than a hopeless thing like me.

Aubrey managed to muster up the strength and eat the bread Russell had brought her, enjoying the jam spread he had made and she was already grateful for having the chance to meet someone as unique and caring as the little boy. Aubrey blew out the flame that dimly lit her room and she curled up on the bed, now trying to focus on anything she could that had nothing to do with this terrible place. She hoped for good dreams, something to ease her mind, somewhere she could travel to in her head that brought her far, far away from within the Sections.

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Distance between Aubrey and Scarlett: 980 miles